Quiet

I am home this morning. Quiet. Doing simple homely type things. It's really cold outside, but the sun is brightly shining. Crisp and snappy are words you could use to describe this delicious morning. I am home. Nothing outside my home is calling me to go do or come be. It's delicious. It's quiet. There is a fat robin outside in my backyard that I watched eat an entire leftover apple fallen from the old apple tree this autumn. My heart is glad that there are a few apples out there waiting for the birds to enjoy on this cold morning. I should have picked them up last fall. But I didn't. The chickens are huddled together out there too. The hens seemed to appreciate the warm water I brought out to them, clucking to themselves and chiding each other to come get a drink while it's still warm. On my back porch there are four boxes full of Christmas decorations and I brought the first one in and set it on my kitchen table. I opened the box and out came a jingle bell necklace, an ornament that I've had since 7th grade and a stocking. How did that stocking get there? It's a leftover stocking. It's Son #4's stocking. He lives far away from us. And my heart constricted and suddenly I found myself longing for the days when I brought out the Christmas decoration boxes and unearthed 9 stockings ready to be filled.

I am restless, here with the quiet of home. It's been exactly one year since two of my children moved out on their own leaving only three of us rattling around in this house together. There are times of quiet. And then there are times when everyone is back home and the house is bustling. I adore those times. Not so sure about the others. Quiet and busy.

I still can't say that I'm accustomed to this quiet. Only one child left at home seems lonely after raising a house full. But, I'm trying to make my peace with the quiet. Let myself even enjoy it now and then. Stopped for a minute here and there to listen to my memories of days gone by when it was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for everyone around the table for lunch, down for naps and hoping I could steal a few minutes of quiet for myself while they all slept. My life is just different now. Quieter. Full of wondering, what should I be doing right now? It's so quiet.

Once Upon a Time....

in a doubtlessly true-to-life land called Nearby, there lived three brothers. One was young, one was older and one was oldest. Now the young brother had come upon some good fortune one day and he decided to purchase two golden tickets to the greatest tournament held in the land. This tournament was held especially to decide who was the most victorious in the land of Nearby. The mighty winner of this tournament would go on to be the challenger in the Great War of the Roses held in a land called Faraway.

Now, immediately upon purchasing the tickets the young brother knew that he would be taking his older brother with him. He was sad that he didn't have enough to buy three tickets so he could take his oldest brother also, but he was happy enough to bring one brother. He couldn't wait to see the mighty heroes at the tournament battle it out for the winner. Slowly the day approached for the clash. His older brother and him made plans and carefully anticipated all the wonders of that day coming.

Meanwhile, the oldest brother watched his two younger brothers look forward to the tournament and rejoiced with them that they would be able to attend. After all, he would be able to hear all about their adventure when they returned from the mighty tournament. Such stories they would tell!

As the Great Tournament Day approached, the young brother who had the two golden tickets began to think. He thought harder and harder about the two tickets he owned. He knew that the most important Holiday in the year was drawing close as well as the great day of the tournament. He knew he didn't have a special gift for his oldest brother and this weighed heavily on his heart of hearts. So, with great love and joy in his heart it came to him one night. He would give his own golden ticket to his oldest brother and let him go to the tournament in his place! The very next day, he ran to give his own golden ticket to his oldest brother. The oldest brother said that no, he couldn't take his place. But the young brother urged and insisted that the ticket was his and he could give it freely to whosoever he desired.

At last the oldest brother accepted the gift of the golden ticket. And as the day dawned of the great and mighty tournament he rejoiced greatly along with his whole family that he had such a noble young brother who would give such a gift to him. Oh the stories he will tell to his young brother after the tournament! But most importantly the oldest brother would have the treasured memory to keep in his heart forever of what his young brother gave up for him.

The End

A Full Heart of Thanksgiving

Today is the fourth day that I've been sick with what my kids are telling me sounds like the Swine Flu. I wouldn't be surprised if it is... or was. At the library I come in contact with so many people, am handed so many things from those people, help those people by touching the same computers they are working on all the while knowing that I am only being kept well by God's amazing grace. So, Thursday night, I felt a sore throat coming on. Be assured that this was the day that I had gone to get a coffee drink for me and Daughter L to share, had (of course)kissed my husband numerous times, kissed Son J goodbye as I went out the door to the library and then sat beside Sis. D at the movies that night sharing with her by personally handing over some of my Junior Mints to eat! May God keep all my loved ones free from what I might have given to them without knowing it! I can't say that the flu hit me as hard as I've heard it has hit many people. I know that everyone was praying for me, along with myself begging Him and so it is definitely God's mercy that I feel so well this morning. I am tired, but no sign of the flu going to my chest. Or even a cough!

The first thought I had when I felt the flu starting was, "oh no! Thanksgiving is just a few days away!" I absolutely love Thanksgiving Day. It's one of my favorite holidays because I get to cook, have everyone I love around me and feel that warm cozy feeling of my home filled with good people, good smells and good food. To me, laughter and love at the holidays is very important because my holidays as a child were filled with alcohol and fighting. Never, ever a good combo. (If you ever want to understand why I adore my husband so much, you would only have to take a minute's peek into my life as a child to see and recognize what a treasure I have today!)

On Friday night, I sent out my husband, Son T. and Son J. to do the Thanksgiving shopping just in case I didn't get well enough to do it myself, knowing that the stores would only get worse the nearer to Thursday we get. I am so thankful because they never missed a beat... they so graciously went and tried to figure out what in the world I meant by "stuffing mix" or "lunchmeat" on the shopping list that I could barely make for them in my flu foggy haze. I think I am pretty well set up for the big day as far as food is concerned!

So I guess this post is meant to say that I have a heart full of Thanksgiving. I'm thankful that God's mercy has been to me in my life. I'm thankful that the flu eased over me instead of taking me with all it's rage. I'm thankful that I have all the food I need to make the meal that will draw all my loved ones here to be with us on Thanksgiving Day. May God fill my home this holiday with peace that my children and grandchildren will stow securely in their hearts!

Down the Driveway He went...

Down the driveway he went this morning. Backing out like he always has, driving away from his home on his way to work. Faithfully he goes to his destination to fulfill his God given job. He's just a man, doing what is right. No big deal, right?

There's a sweet scripture that says something like, "he who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord". But I'm wondering if there is an opposite scripture for us wives. Something like "she who is found by a husband, is found and greatly blessed and has obtained favor of her God". Nope, I don't think that's in the scripture! But it sure makes my heart glad for the day that my husband found me.

He goes to work every day. He has been my heart's companion for most of my life now. My dearest friend in all the world. And I am awed and humbled by the power I have to make his life sweet... or sad. In awe because I see how easy it would be for me to mess up such a "good thing" that God has given to him. And humbled by the huge responsibility to be a "good thing" to him. The apple of his eye. The one he can be always "ravished with her love" with.

As he went off to work this morning, I pondered about his heart safely trusting in me. He's given me his heart. Is it a precious thing to me? Another place in the Word talks about "doing him good all the days of her life and not evil". I shake my head so many times in wonder at what a gift I have been given in my sweet husband. But do I truly do him good? Each action I take toward my dear one can either make his life sweet or it can make him sad. It's not so much that I send him out the door with a lunch and a kiss that makes his life sweet. It's... do I hear him? Do I care about his heart he has entrusted me with? Do I listen to the underlying thoughts and gestures he makes when he lets his guard down for only me? I stand in awe and am greatly humbled by the work God has given me to do as a wife. It's something I am only beginning to understand the enormity of.

So, as he drives down that driveway each day, I will continue to wave insanely to him; hoping to catch his eye one more time to let him know that his heart is safe in mine. Then I'll go in my bedroom and get on my knees and thank the Lord that He found me for my dear husband and beg His help to be a "good thing" for him for the rest of my days on earth. And then I will be here waiting at the end of each day, when he drives back up into our driveway, safely home.