Courage to Step Out of That Ship

I've had occasion twice now to feel like I am in a small little boat swirling in the current of a gigantic ocean with the wind and waves boisterous around me. We heard yesterday in church about the faith of Peter to step out of his ship in the midst of his boisterous wind and walk to Jesus. And about his sinking because he looked around at the wind and waves. I wondered where I was in that story. I am pretty sure I have been hanging on for dear life to the sides of the boat I've been on. Step out on the water? Mmm.... not sure about that. But I am sure that Jesus has walked out to meet me on that ocean in my boat and that comforts me. My eyes are definitely on him, hoping that my boat won't sink. Surely my boat won't sink with His help?

Courage. Been thinking about the courage my husband and I have needed to step out of our room each day and face our life. We have so many eyes on us. Our children and their companions, our grandchildren, our brethren, people in the world. What will we do now that God has brought sorrow our way-- twice? It was hard enough the first time. We have raised seven children; known the joy and pain of raising little ones. Known the deep abounding love for our children. And then came the grandchildren. Have you ever heard it said that you love your children and then your grandchildren come and you find out that you love them even more, if that is possible? Well, it's true. All our hopes and cares and love go out to our little darlings. Each time one of our girls has announced that we were going to be grandparents again...I can't tell you what wonderful days those have been! To see the Lord bless the wombs of our son's wives has been a blessing beyond compare. And so now we need courage to face life. Courage to stand back and see that God has given so much to our "pelky9" that has turned into "pelkey20"! Courage to know that God can give life again, whenever He chooses. Courage to take steps forward. Courage to stand up and let go of the sides of that boat we are on.

The Sun's Coming Up in the Morning

Once again I faced Satan this morning
and I battled him all the day long
but in my weakness, God sent reinforcement
and at sundown I sang victory's song.

And the sun's coming up in the morning
Every tear will be gone from my eye
This old clay's gonna give way to glory
and like an eagle, I'll take to the sky.

No words can express what we've all gone through in the past few days and will still go through in our lives. But truly I can say that reinforcement will come at the time it is needed. God does not desert us in time of need. It is well...

Disappointed

Last night I went out with "the girls". We went to see a movie. As I got home and climbed into bed, I wondered about what "the girls" got out of the evening. Did I do or say anything to build them up, or did I do or say anything that tore down? You see, I had been invited to go with them when really it was their "girls night out". Their plans were to really just go to see a movie... no responsibility on my part to be "the older Sister" and actually say or do anything edifying. Right?

Well, I don't know about that. Climbing into bed, I had a niggling feeling that I missed an opportunity to be the servant of the Lord. Had I sought Him when an invitation was given for me to go with "the girls"? You'd think I would have... we've been hearing this sort of thing in church for weeks now. I've been trying to turn my focus away from myself. Trying to focus on serving my brethren and the Lord in deeds. But it just seems like I am put into more and more situations that I come home from and realize that once again I missed another opportunity.

I wonder. If I'm not edifying, then am I tearing down? A movie with "the girls" didn't really help any of us along in our walk before the Lord. Now, I'm not saying that we should throw movie going out with the bathwater. But I'm disappointed in myself. I should have asked the Lord for help. I had 20 minutes in the car each way with these young sisters where I could have spoken some encouraging or edifying word to them... talked with them about what their thoughts have been on what we've been hearing in church. About what they've been doing towards being the Lord's servant. Or their thoughts on our sweet foot washing meeting last Sunday. But instead, I joked with them about candy and I listened to their chatter about their lives.

I'm disappointed. I love "the girls"! And I want to please the Lord and be the kind of big sister they need. But today is a new day. I'll try harder to keep my eyes open to the possibility of service... once again.