Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Contentment or Drama?

A couple of weeks ago, the ministers here in our assembly were used to speak about contentment. You know, as in "Godliness with contentment is great gain" or "having food and raiment therewith be content" etc. But it was so much more and I wish I could put into words what that Sunday meeting has worked in my life. Not sure if I've made great strides toward the mark or anything, but I've had plenty to ponder since then. One of the things one of the minister's said was "are we content with being the person God has made us, or do we want to be something bigger and better?" This really struck home with me, not that I really want to BE someone spiritually, but it's just that The Dad is used by the Lord all the time and it seems like all I do is sit in my seat and well... just be there. I won't go into how terrified I would be to actually be used in anything spiritually now, but that meeting really made me start thinking. Am I content with who I am? Is it okay for me to be just plain old Sis. Lori and wait (as in being a waitress at a restaurant) on the Lord? In the mean time, I got a sweet magazine about homeschooling and the focus of it was on homemaking. There were tons of articles about rejoicing that you were a wife and a mom and it really made me see how I had let that kind of heart slip from me. There was one article that really struck home with me about having a complaining heart to have to wash the dishes... instead of thanking God for those dirty dishes and seeing that it was because you have food to cook that those dishes got dirty! I've been begging God everyday that I could just stay home again. Not have to work at the library. My plate is so full. I have so much to do, and not enough time to do it. So, do I love that kind of drama? Do I have a melodramatic heart of seeing something wrong in my life, something that I have to complain to the Lord about? There's been this little niggling thought in my mind about drama vs. contentment and then last night The Dad was listening to me complain ONE more time about how my life is TOO BIG for me and he asked me if I was focusing on having drama. "Of course not!", I thought as he said it. But then, as I lay on my pillow trying to get to sleep, I really considered his words. Could that be me? Could I be focusing so much on having TOO much to do to be thankful that God has given me the health and strength to do all of it? Do I just like the drama of life? Shouldn't I just be content to do everything the Lord has given me to do and rejoice in it? It's going to take me a long time to swallow this and digest it all. But I see myself in that question that my husband asked me. I really love the Lord and I don't want to displease Him in anything. Neither do I want to be a weariness to my husband's soul by my continual droppings of drama! Contentment or drama; which one will I chose?

5 comments:

Jackie said...

WOW!! Sis. Lori this post spoke straight to my heart. I have alot of the same thoughts and things go thru my mind. My husband and I were talking about being content with what God has given us a few weeks ago and I have been trying to examine myself to see where I stand and I find myself short alot of times. I too feel like my husband is used spiritually all of the time and I just sit on my seat. I am out of the meeting quite a bit with the kids and sometimes I feel useless but I have to remind myself that my job is just different than his and this is what the Lord requires of me right now. I too sometimes find myself focusing on the Drama in my life instead of thanking God that I have a life to have Drama in. Well sorry I have rambled on and on but you are so not alone in this and I will be praying for you and thank you for sharing because it has reminded me of somethings that I need to seek God about in my life. Love and Prayers Always!!!

Sis. Lori P. said...

Thank you Sis. Jackie! It's scary putting my thoughts and feelings out there for all the blogging world to see. Am I true? I know I have to be! Is what I'm going to say mean anything to anyone else, does it edify? I don't know, but I hope so! Sweetie, I've spent my time outside of meeting raising my little family and I can tell you (since at least I've gotten through that part!)that all the time spent out of meeting will seem like an instant in time when your little ones are grown and in the faith and living it with you! So, as I used to do constantly... run your three ring circus in meeting and be so thankful and content that you have a few kids to run the circus in church with! Love you too!

Sis. Leah said...

I totally can relate to you also. I too feel useless in church cause I am usually in the back with the baby. I at times feel like whats the use of even going. But then I remember it is what God requires of me right now. To set an example for my kids. I also have been trying to examine myself and see where I stand. I too fall short lots of times. I fell I allow the drama in my life alot. I think we all just need to look at things differently, and try and see the good in all. The Lord won't give us more than what we can handle. My prayers will be with you.

Sis Stubby said...

Sis.Lori you it the nail on the head with me.I have not done alot spirtial lately.I so want to make sure it is God not me.So there I sit.I find sometimes my prayers all all about asking God for somethink or somebody.I want to have a relationship with him not just problems.
I feel so bored oh I don't know what to call it.But any way that is me.

Tiffany said...

I think that is awesome for one to consider being content with whatever position God has placed you in at the present time. I try to keep that (thanks to what was preached on recently) always in my mind too. It's of course hard because of the nature of man that is in us... 'the grass is always greener on the other side', right?

Not necessarily! To be content with whatever side of the pasture we are on is submitting to His will, because God knows that it is perfect for your soul at the time. No doubt He has placed you there for a very good reason. We hear often that He knows us more than we know ourselves, and to be honest I'm glad that He does. Otherwise I'd be running to that greener pasture that most likely isn't very good for me at the time.

Keep up the good thoughts Mom =)

-Philip

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