Disappointed

Last night I went out with "the girls". We went to see a movie. As I got home and climbed into bed, I wondered about what "the girls" got out of the evening. Did I do or say anything to build them up, or did I do or say anything that tore down? You see, I had been invited to go with them when really it was their "girls night out". Their plans were to really just go to see a movie... no responsibility on my part to be "the older Sister" and actually say or do anything edifying. Right?

Well, I don't know about that. Climbing into bed, I had a niggling feeling that I missed an opportunity to be the servant of the Lord. Had I sought Him when an invitation was given for me to go with "the girls"? You'd think I would have... we've been hearing this sort of thing in church for weeks now. I've been trying to turn my focus away from myself. Trying to focus on serving my brethren and the Lord in deeds. But it just seems like I am put into more and more situations that I come home from and realize that once again I missed another opportunity.

I wonder. If I'm not edifying, then am I tearing down? A movie with "the girls" didn't really help any of us along in our walk before the Lord. Now, I'm not saying that we should throw movie going out with the bathwater. But I'm disappointed in myself. I should have asked the Lord for help. I had 20 minutes in the car each way with these young sisters where I could have spoken some encouraging or edifying word to them... talked with them about what their thoughts have been on what we've been hearing in church. About what they've been doing towards being the Lord's servant. Or their thoughts on our sweet foot washing meeting last Sunday. But instead, I joked with them about candy and I listened to their chatter about their lives.

I'm disappointed. I love "the girls"! And I want to please the Lord and be the kind of big sister they need. But today is a new day. I'll try harder to keep my eyes open to the possibility of service... once again.