Monday, March 3, 2008
Needed: Real Live (older) Woman
Been doing too much thinking lately. That's not always a good idea. What I've come up with is probably just a complaint, but here goes. There's definitely a need in a woman's life when she is starting out raising her family; of an older woman in her life to nurture her and "show her the ropes". There's so much going on in a young woman's life when she is newly married and starting out on the road to motherhood. Even having other young mothers to befriend is so important. Somehow, that sense of camaraderie makes what you are doing seem normal. Watching the young mothers in the library I can tell when a young lady has an older woman in her life and when she doesn't. It makes me sad when I see someone who is lost out there with no life line. Sometimes it seems the most important thing I am able to say to my daughter in laws is, "yes, my kids did that same thing" or "that's exactly what happened to mine when they got that sickness or cut teeth". I can look back in my life and see how I watched the older sisters and needed the younger sisters when I was starting out raising my kids. Well now, here I am, in a very strange time in my life and I don't have anyone to look to and "show me the ropes" like I used to. I'm at that "in between" stage when I'm not done raising my kids, but am certainly not to that point where I'm an old woman. So, where are all those "in between" women out there for me to travel along with? That's even a laughable idea, because there's so much to do in my life now that I don't have time for friends. Ha, ha, stop and have a cup of coffee with me? I'm lucky to even sit down for five minutes and post on my blog. Where's my role model? Okay, there's Mary and Martha in the bible! There's Abigail and the Proverbs 31 woman. So, I find myself on my knees and in my car and as I go to sleep and as I wake begging God to help me with this new stage I'm in. Not ever sure if I'm going in the right direction on any particular thing in my life, but a real live (older) woman... to watch and "show me the ropes" would be nice every now and then!
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5 comments:
Lori, I fully understand what you are talking about. I take the scriptures about the older teaching the younger very seriously. I have gone to my older sisters many times while raising my kids. I do see that it takes effort on the part of the younger and the older sisters. The younger need to go to ask or invite the older to "have coffee" and the older need to make the effort to be around the younger sisters. It takes time to build a relationship sometimes. It is so much easier to go ask a sister you have spent time together than one that you havent. You do have a very sweet older sister in your assembly. I know it is hard because your assembly is so small but maybe she would like "to have coffee". I am sure she has "been there and done that" in her life. (Remember, she did have to raise Dave. LOL! Just kidding.) She may have some very sweet things to say. Hope you find what you are looking for! I know I treasure the ones I have gone to.
I have had many older sisters that I go to for advice and wisdom and I cherish them tremendously.
That is one of the things I miss about Brewster. I felt like there were older sisters who had large families who lovingly gave me advice, or even just encouraged me along the way. I will cherish those sisters and those memories forever, and it has made me think about trying to be that sort of sister to the younger ones as well. I do wish we had older ones in this assembly now, but maybe in time....
I cant imagine what it'd be like not having my dear older sister-in-laws and my momma. i cant tell you how many times I've gone to them for advice on how to be. Mommy I love you and I'm sorry I'm not older. =s
I had many dear "Mothers" in the faith when we assembled Shields. Travis and I were just starting our little family. All of their love and advice was much needed. A while back a young sister and I went to McDonalds and had a very good talk. It helped her to know that her and her husband were not the only ones to face some of the things they were facing. At the end of our talk she said that she needed an older sister to talk to. Now I'm not that old, but I guess I'm older than her. LOL
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